Real [wo]men Drink Black Blood Of The Earth

Have you ever overdosed on coffee? Though I haven’t tasted it for myself yet, Black Blood of the Earth’s mere existence is causing me to rethink everything I once thought or believed about Java Juice. Seriously, Funarium Labs, the company/guy behind the product, suggests serving it cold in a shot glass (i.e. a single ounce at a time) — all of the flavor, almost no acid, no more brown teeth and up to 40 times more caffeine per ounce than brewed coffee.

[T]his can’t merely be called Scientific Coffee or even Weapons Grade Coffee. My brain went searching for terms that accurately described this creation. While the tar entity that killed Tasha Yar in ST:TNG came to mind, John Carpenter’s ‘Big Trouble In Little China’ is what stuck. This coffee is the Black Blood Of The Earth or BBotE for the sake of brevity.

Again, haven’t tasted it yet, but this magic elixir of life is created using a technique called “Viennese Triple Cold Extraction.” More telling than that? Funarium sells this stuff in 750ml bottles, which is also the standard for Bourbon and Scotch Whiskey.